I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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