We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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