Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize