so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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