something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
