im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I wish you could order shots online.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize