I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
