My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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