I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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