Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize