Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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