I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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