im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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