I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
