i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize