Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
