Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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