how do flat chested girls get laid?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
