if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
