Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
