i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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