If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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