do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
