Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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