I accidentally burped into my bong.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
