just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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