Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
