i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
