we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
