It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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