he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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