dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
nutella sex= disaster
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
