gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
this is an emotional support booty call
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
