and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
