My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize