He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
