i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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