One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
