In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
