All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
