It's like God shit irony all over that family
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
