Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
two words...techno handjob
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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