i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
