Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
