I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
