and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
