Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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