matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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