When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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