i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize