She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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