i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize