Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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