I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
