I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
