I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
This can only be settled by a dance off.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
