i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
