i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
