So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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