Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You need Xanax blowdarts
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
