ugly people sure do ruin things
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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