So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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