I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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