It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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