I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
